Have you ever had a time where you had to make a change or else a relationship, work or your health will cave in but you are too scared to get help?
Have you ever experienced a time where you knew you had to bite the bullet and ask for help but you talked yourself out of it anyway?
Asking for help is such a simple act and yet, at times has demanded such courage from me. I recently had a situation where I had to ask for help where I really had to step up to the plate to get the right people to help me. The number one fear getting in the way was what they will think of me followed closely by what will it cost.
I know these are blah blah blah stories that allow me to bail on myself and ultimately, not step outside my comfort zone. I know that if I really want to change something, I can do it regardless of what others think or say. I’ve done it. I also know I can find a way to fund it; even it takes a little longer. I’ve done it. And I also knew that if I turned away from this challenge this time, it would simply present itself again in about 2 months, just as it has before. That’s the way my soul (and yours) work. I would not be let off the hook. Like baby eagles, our inner wisdom pushes outside of our comfort zones.
So I hired the support I needed and got the assessment of all the changes that needed to happen. Okay, breathe and breathe again I told myself. As I wrote in my last reflection, change is not always easy. It means stepping outside our comfort zone to get the results we are seeking. It’s named the comfort zone for a reason. It’s comfortable there because we know the patterns and often even the results. And we know who to be in this context. With real and honest change, I have to change who I am, not only the external situation or habits that may be involved.
As we celebrate the coming holidays and open our hearts and renew our connection to Love and Joy and Peace, we also come closer to stepping into 2012. As you move through the last 3 weeks of this year and into the New Year, I invite you to reflect upon the following questions. Write out your answers only after you’ve given pause and listened to some deeper voice inside. If you want to be done with feeling alone and hurt then decide what you will do and who you will get to help you. If you want to experience the satisfaction of finally getting unstuck, of learning to say No to smoking or a ‘drama’ relationship or Yes to a job change, then consider these questions and get support to make a real change that lasts. ASK FOR HELP that can SUSTAIN the CHANGE!!!!!!!!
What were the incredible moments of 2011? The moments that were really special?
What resources do you have to continue the quality of these moments in 2012?
What did you hate about 2011? What is it that you just can’t stand anymore?
What decisions will you make for 2012 based on what you hated about 2011?
If you stay stuck in what you hate, what is the real pain you will feel? (be honest and complete in your response)
Who will care if you stay stuck? Who might you meet if you changed?
What is a specific goal you want badly enough that you are willing to ask for the right help to get the satisfaction and joy of accomplishing it?
As we move forward, know that we are all moving forward together. We can choose to move in fear or we can choose to get the support and accomplish what really matters to us, even if we do feel scared. That just means we are human. At least if we ask for help and get the support we need, we are also open to feeling joy, competent, connected and loved.
I wish you a very Happy Holiday, Joyous Moments, and Hope that has wings to take you into 2012 with optimism for something new. Be the change.
Shirley Lynn Martin