As I am writing this, CBC news is in the background. Disturbing current events in Ferguson Missouri, Iraq, Ukraine, Gaza, Israel and Liberia all reinforce how elusive true peace can be.

I have been questioned why I listen if it disturbs me; however, for me being aware of the violence reminds me to be deeply grateful for peace. It is similar to needing to experience the dark so that I can better appreciate the light. It also motivates me to work for peace in my relationships and in my environment. I may not be able to bring about meaningful change in any of these distant situations but I can affect change/peace in the space I inhabit. I reflected on this as I was gardening today.

I have spent the summer wrestling with the weeds in my flower and vegetable gardens; weeds that had too much freedom in the past few years; weeds that never took Shirley Lynn’s workshops on boundaries.

As I am trying to create order I am becoming aware that not only have weeds overstepped their boundaries so have my flowering perennials. Historically, I have felt guilty for digging up and composting flowers so have either let them grow unchecked or have divided and re-homed them. However, I don’t struggle with the same guilt when it comes to those I deem as weeds. What I am realizing though is that my approach has not lead to creating a peaceful environment in which each plant has an equal opportunity to flourish and succeed … even in my gardens, the survival of the fittest is being played out!

To establish the peaceful order in the gardens I desire, I need to take corrective action. To have a greater chance of eliminating the invasive plants, I need to dig up the whole plant and get the entire root. If I don’t it will pop up again, maybe not this year, but it will come again.

Isn’t this how it works in relationships as well? If I am at odds with someone, if there is tension and I choose to either let it go or I half-heartedly try to fix it, the issue will pop up again. When I take corrective action in the gardens I do so with a goal in mind. I know what I am wanting to achieve and I think creating harmonious relationships works the same way.

I am reading I Am In Here by Elizabeth Bonker and Virginia Breen. (a mother and daughter). It’s about the journey of a child with autism who is nonverbal but communicates by using a letter-board. I will close with her comments and a poem she wrote as a nine year old:

“I do not believe violence is the answer to any conflict. People are different, but all people want to be treated fairly and shown respect. I believe war could be eliminated if people followed these rules.”

Peace

If we all try to get along the world would be a happy place.

Everyone could have their space.

War could disappear without a trace.

That is my wish.

And mine too. If we could truly understand what nine year old Elizabeth understood, the evening news might sound very different.

Submitted by Mary Martin

For me, this summer has been incredible in that the humidity has largely been at bay – a blessing to me and our animal companions! It’s also been a summer for contemplating and interacting in ways that connect me more intimately with Nature.

What has struck me as I’ve been attuning myself to Nature is the Natural Order of things that seems to go in cycles. Well, of course it does, you might think. And yet, that our Earth is so out of balance highlights just how out of order we are and how un-creating with peace we have been in our relationship with Nature.

This thought has been roaming around in my mind: an order that is being imposed from the outside will remain superficial; an order that comes from the inside, however, will have a deep impact.

Seeds come before the plants. Plants come before the fruit. Spring precedes summer which precedes fall. Moisture must ascend before rain descends. Grandparents come before parents who come before children. It cannot be otherwise. It just is. This natural order which unfolds in cycles is the blueprint of Nature. It keeps things healthy and alive and indeed, even evolutionary.

Our souls follow this blueprint too and when we are connected and attuned to our souls, we return to this internal order of recognizing what and who comes before us and what and who comes after us. For example, when parents forget they come before the child with all the responsibility of coming first, the child will often compensate, leaving their place of the child to take over the parent role. We all recognize this relationship is out of order with many inherent consequences. Yet, bringing order back to our lives often involves step by step actions of courage because in that re-ordering we actually find our balance and our place in the world. It means acknowledging ‘what is as it as’ without wanting or wishing that a new order can be created. Parents precede children, in any species.

Here are two parables about natural order unfolding, helping a desired outcome to occur with ease and with the least resistance:

1. When ducks sit on the edge of a river bank, they often sit scattered and in any form to attend to their feathers and bodies. When it’s time to move, they all get in a row and begin their journey.
2. Imagine you are on a teeter-totter, sitting on one side while the other side is empty. Clearly the side you are sitting on is on the ground (Point A) and the other side is in the air (Point B). Imagine that Point B is where you want to go to realize a personal goal. Now imagine beginning to climb the teeter-totter towards the centre leverage point and toward Point B. Here’s the crux … just as you get close to the centre, the leverage point, the teeter-totter gets very shaky and feels ever more challenging to balance. What do you do? Return in fear to Point A? Or keep going past the shakiness and perceived imbalance to the other side where a new sturdiness comes as the teeter-totter shifts and now Point B becomes the grounded place?

What can we learn from this? That only when you take action do all your ducks begin to get in a row. You do not have to have all your ducks in a row before you take action to start what excites you. Following what happens naturally and respecting the natural order of what comes first and what comes next in the way you strive to accomplish your goals supports your success with the path of least resistance.

As you consider the fall and where you are on your path of what you wanted to accomplish this year in creating peaceful relationships, what needs to come back into order? Are you clear on this order? If you are not clear and going in circles or continuously facing the same issues, what new and courageous step are you prepared to take?

We are about to enter the last quarter of 2014. I urge you to make the most of it. Make peaceful relationships your priority.

Namaste, Shirley Lynn

Six years ago, I made the decision to visit my mum and sister in Cape Town at least once, if not twice a year because of mum’s inability to travel. I headed south and bought a little apartment in the community of Hout Bay, twenty minutes outside of Cape Town. The beach in Hout Bay is surrounded by mountains and has been a source of major revelations for me, as has the unique community the mountains enfold.

About three years ago, on a beautiful Sunday morning, I headed to the beach and greeted the car guard who had been a constant presence every time I visited. In South Africa, car guards keep watch over vehicles to help avoid break-ins. I normally walked for about an hour, but on this particular day, I was gone for three hours – there were dolphins playing and I saw a sea otter. When I got back to the car, the guard said, “Madam, I was worried about you, you have been gone so long.” I really got that he cared about me. Subsequently, we greeted each other enthusiastically when I returned but didn’t interact on a deeper level.

In November last year, I arrived at the beach and said, “Hello, my friend, it is good to see you again.” He looked at me and said, “Madam, my name is Junior.” I was at a loss for words. I had known this man for six years, he had looked out for me and looked after my vehicle and I had never once thought to ask him his name. Shame on me!

Just before Christmas, when I arrived at the beach Junior didn’t greet me with the same upbeat energy. I said, “Junior, what’s up today?” He said, “My daddy died yesterday. I have to go home to DRC (Democratic Republic of Congo) for his funeral – I have to be there to bury him.” To get there he had to hitch a ride to Johannesburg (equivalent Toronto to Nova Scotia), take a bus north and finally a small aircraft to his village. In all, he thought it would probably cost R2,000.00 – he earns about R100.00 per day. He did not ask me for money – just told me the facts.

I met a friend on the beach and told her his story. She said, “Why don’t you go on Hout Bay Organized and see if there is anyone willing to donate money towards his trip?” I had not heard about the site, but joined that afternoon and posted a request for help. The response was overwhelming and the following day, between my contribution and that of other Hout Bay residents Junior had about R1,500.00 towards his trip.

It was through this site that I heard about the 50c Hangberg Feeding Project. Four times a week local restaurants, residents and grocery stores feed the children of Hangberg (a depressed area adjacent to the harbour) at the Angels of Mercy Orphanage. The children pay 50c if they can afford it and if they can’t they are given food anyway. Then there is DAWG, a local non-profit animal care facility helping animals of IY (the local township where people live in abject poverty).

One day I drove over the mountain and saw huge flames licking up into the sky above IY. A granny had fallen asleep with a pot over the fire in her shack. Many people lost all their possessions, but what struck me was the outpouring of support from the community. Food, clothing, bedding and furnishings were donated, temporary accommodation and building materials provided. One woman donated wood siding to her maid to replace her shack. She learned that her maid had sold the wood and was incensed. Someone else commented, saying, “You gave the wood to your maid, it became hers. She chose to sell the wood, rather than build a new home. That is her prerogative. How do you know what she considers to be important – maybe she needed food more than shelter? Once a gift is given, control over the gift is relinquished.

I also recently got to interact with three other car guards – Rob, Richard and Mel. They are all alcoholics who live ‘rough’ but each have two dogs and worked around the restaurant area guarding cars. One evening I said to Rob, “Your dogs are well cared for.” He said, “They are my priority – they eat before I do.” Richard and Mel were both admitted to hospital recently and Rob is looking after all the dogs, finding it very difficult in the wet, cold Cape winter (he lives on the mountain in a tent). The community donated food – someone even donated coats for the dogs to keep them dry. It is heart-warming to know that countless Hout Bayans are helping to take care of those less fortunate than themselves.

If Junior had not reached out to me, and I had not used the social media available to me, I would not have learned about the amazing work that is being done in The Bay. If I had not shared how good it was to see him and to explore being ‘his neighbour’, I would not have been privileged to know him on a deeper level. I would not have heard the many stories involving people who give to those in need in this little community. If only every community, in every town or city, in every province or country could contribute as generously to their neighbour, the world would truly be a better and more peaceful place. I experienced compassion from Junior and I learned to be his neighbour in a heart-full, non-judgemental way.

Who are the neighbours you need to know by name? What actions of compassion and non-judgement just might open the door to an unexpected gift of community and peaceful relationship? Share with me the joy of this discovery and practice of creating peaceful relationships in simply knowing my neighbour’s name.

Namaste,

Janice Naisby, Editor at Homes and Cottages Magazine.

Written for Feathers, Rainbows & Roses

I attended the same gathering of Reiki practitioners as Lucy (see previous blog Open your senses, Nature is calling…), seeking to appreciate and become more knowledgeable and intimate with Nature. It is a project we are exploring as a budding community and as you can imagine, Nature is surprising us at every turn.

This past year, we at Feathers, Rainbows & Roses have been exploring, contemplating, practising and learning new skills to enhance the experience of ‘creating peaceful relationships’. Not only do we need to cultivate these relationships with our family and friends, but equally important, we need to cultivate this kind of peaceful exchange within ourselves, our animals and also with our environment. Too frequently we forget to include the essential dynamic of our surroundings and of Nature in our discussions of creating peace within and peace within relationships.

In this gathering, I chose to study a picture of an oxygen atom. It was a beautiful picture that drew me into exploring the nature and consciousness of this single atom on the periodic table … a 10^th grade chemistry lesson that at the time was dry and without meaning. However, this time, my intention was to listen and experience a connection with this atom of O², to step into its energy field, so to speak.

Instantly, my energy began to expand. With every breath I could feel O² intensifying and expanding my field. I spent 5 minutes just being with oxygen, just concentrating on this atom and all it was offering me about itself. My cells began to feel more full and my brain clear. It was an incredible moment.

After a few moments, I thought to myself, “wouldn’t it be nice to explore hydrogen now too.” I went to put down the picture of O² and to my surprise, I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t put it aside. I began to realize I can’t ever put it aside until that moment my soul leaves my life and transitions back to spirit. Who knows how oxygen operates with Spirit, but I trust it does in some way.

In a most miraculous way, I experienced the way oxygen is LIFE. It doesn’t just give Life, IT IS LIFE! I knew this information from 10^th grade Chemistry, but to experience such knowing from the inner being of my cells was indeed a moment of radical awareness. Much more than knowledge! From this simple exercise, my awareness is deeply expanded and I have a new ally and friend in life … Oxygen!

I didn’t realize I needed to be at peace with oxygen, however, if I never develop full awareness of what gives and affirms my life, how can I really experience peace? How can I be truly grateful for life, because I lack awareness of what all gives me life.

This summer weather in Ontario has been a wonderful gift, at least in my terms of summer weather. Each time I step out and breathe in the oxygen provided in the community of hydrogen and summer scents, my gratitude and sense of inner peace is grounded and more deeply anchored within. Connecting with oxygen to some may not answer the world’s issues, but we are doing so much to zap oxygen from our environment.

The concept of a golden rule, in which we do to others only what we would want others to do to us, can be found in one form or another as far back as the civilizations of ancient China, Babylon, Egypt, Greece, and Rome. It has also been called an ethic of reciprocity which can be found in all cultures, in all world religions as well as in the philosophies of humanists and existentialists. In short, it’s one ethical code that most of humanity can agree on.

I wonder what would happen if we consciously and collectively applied this golden rule to a single atom of Oxygen everyday of our lives. I think a miracle just might occur and we would have peace in our hearts and peace on the planet!

So breathe deep and have an oxygen-blessed summer!

Namaste, Shirley Lynn

Canada Day. A very special day for me because it is also my birthday. When I was young I took offence that people were actually celebrating something other than my birthday. How dare they! It is MY day. Who cares about Canada Day?

As the years passed I began to enjoy the celebration and of course the fact that it was a holiday! The beginning of summer holidays. So as I was preparing for this year’s jaunt to the cottage to celebrate with my family, I let my thoughts wander to how I feel about Canada Day now at the ripe old age of 57.

My first thoughts turned to the political. The newly elected government of Ontario, the federal government – things I wholeheartedly agree with and things I vehemently disagree with. But I was urged to go deeper.

I began to realize that this country, this nation that we live in is part of Mother Earth and all of her Divinity. This rich, fertile, beautiful country is Her gift to me. It is exactly where I am meant to be and exactly where I am meant to fulfil my life purpose. It’s home base. This land allows me freedom and abundance. This land, this country has nurtured me, supported me, protected me.

It’s a country of extreme temperatures so that I can enjoy all the seasons of Mother Earth to the fullest. It even allows me to have two completely different wardrobes so I don’t get bored with choosing clothes! I can enjoy pretty much any sport here because of the seasonal changes. The extreme temperatures provide me with dramatic changes to all my senses and encourage me to feel the rhythm of Mother Earth. We certainly can’t miss the change of seasons here!

The next place I went in my wonderings was to the ancestors who have nurtured, cared for and loved this country long before it was a country. I picture those from millennia ago, centuries ago and decades ago. Their gentle, peaceful love.

I am a farmer at heart and have lived on the farm most of my life. Years ago, when I was in a dark, contemplative frame of mind, I walked back to the bush on the farm through the fields. I suddenly saw a young native man walking with me. I had sensed him before. As I walked past a rock pile that I had walked past hundreds of times before I saw a rock precariously positioned on the top of the pile. It was shaped in a perfect heart. I was surprised to see it. I had not seen it before. I picked it up and carried it with me. I knew that it was a gift from this wise man who walked with me. And I also knew that he was acknowledging the next generation to care for this land. He was a healer when he lived on Earth and I recognized that he was passing that healing energy to me.

My great grandmother bought this land decades ago and I began thinking of her and picturing her in the house. I actually knew her quite well and actually remember the sheep in the field, the front lawn was her potato patch (why grow a lawn that only creates work when it can be used for good growing). My grandparents lived there too and I think of my grandmother’s gorgeous gardens and my grandfather planting crops, fixing things with wire and baler twine (a farmer’s joke). My grandmother and great grandmother worked fluidly with Mother Earth and her rhythms. They knew just when the perfect time was to harvest each garden crop, to preserve each thing, to dig out the bulbs and to prune the orchard trees. It was so fluid that it became a dance that repeated each year.

So I thank Mother Earth for sharing this land that we call Canada with me. I thank all the ancestors who have cared for this land we call Canada for me. I thank all the people who live on Earth at this moment and love and nurture this land we call Canada. And I thank all the Divine beings who call this land home for allowing the love and peace and joy of the Divine to flow through this land, these people, these animals, these plants. Together we all make this land Canada. Oh yes, and the government (God bless them) for working on keeping this country abundant and peaceful and gracious.

So have a wonderful Canada Day. I know I will. And maybe let your mind wander to what Canada is for you. It’s more than you think.

Submitted by Cindy Wahlstrom
Stone Cottage Creations, Guelph (creative gifts infused with healing energy)

Happy Birthday Cindy (and Canada)!

Last week I joined a small group of Reiki practitioners in exploring how we can get to know Nature in deeper ways – “to learn, grow, heal and transform and share our best with each other.”

One of the exercises we did was to spend time with and get to know in a deeper way an element in nature. I chose a bag of soil on the table. I had no idea what I would learn but I opened myself to whatever came forward. I was surprised by what I learned in that short time.

When I opened the bag of soil, I was immediately struck by its sterility – it had no smell, very little texture or complexity, and no visible life forms in it. Later, my suspicion was confirmed that this ‘soil’ came from a bag bought in a store.

But as Nature often does, when we pay attention, She used this bag of lifeless soil to illustrate an important lesson for me. I noted how depleted the soil in the bag felt (it looked nice and dark, felt loose and would be easy to spread) but I didn’t get the sense that it had much nutritional value. It seemed to be lacking in some basic components that make up healthy soil. I had the urge to scatter this bag of soil outside to restore it to its natural balance and purpose (in the end I did empty it into a nearby houseplant). To free it from its plastic enclosure and return it to its Mother Earth. To the air, water and matter (organic and inorganic) that constitutes its wholeness.

I reflected on how often we separate ourselves from our environment – we break up the whole and only keep the parts we view as useful. Ironically, by sterilizing and manipulating our environment in this way we disrupt the delicate balance of Nature, thereby also affecting our own natural balance. Just one example: our intensive agricultural practices have depleted minerals in the soil to the degree that food is often deemed not as nutritious as it used to be. So without supplementation, our bodies over time risk disease as a result of nutritional deficiencies.

It could be easy to throw our hands up in despair, not knowing where to start or what to do. It can be tempting to leave the problems and challenges for others to solve or declare impossible.

I think that each of us is perfectly positioned to act, after all what happens to Nature also happens to us. We are locked in a interconnected cycle of life and death and life…. We are Nature.

This week I invite you to begin a new practice of awareness about your relationship with Nature. A good place to start is to become more mindful of how we live. Pay closer attention to how and what resources we take from the earth – appreciate its complexity and its finiteness.

Through one little bag of soil, Nature asked me to become more mindful about and for Her. I am starting by opening myself to a deeper awareness of my environment, paying special attention to my footprints in it. Perhaps each of you also will broaden your understanding and relationship with Nature, in whatever ways have meaning for you.

Exercise: Mindful Observation (from Pocketmindfulness.com)

This exercise is simple but incredibly powerful. It is designed to connect us with the beauty of the natural environment, which is easily missed when we’re rushing around…

Pick a natural organism within your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower or an insect, the clouds or the moon. Don’t do anything except notice the thing you are looking at. But really notice it. Look at it as if you are seeing it for the first time. Visually explore every aspect of this glorious organism of the natural world. Allow yourself to be consumed by its presence and possibilities. Allow your spirit to connect with its role and purpose in the world. Allow yourself just to notice and ‘be’.

Open your senses, Nature is calling…

Submitted by Lucy Martin

Winding down the day has become a very important part of my life. For those of you who share in my struggle to get to sleep, you may know too the value of finding a way to a more consistent and restorative pattern of sleep. My own evening ritual has come to be a way to let go and enter my sleep intentionally and peacefully.

How do I do that, you may wonder?

At the close of each day. I breathe deep and tell myself that the rest of my to-do list will wait until tomorrow. I take a few moments to think about tomorrow. I look at my list and arrange my priorities, leaving a bit of space for the unexpected of life’s flow to offer me creative encounters with the precious moments that make up our lives.

In my previous blog Morning Rituals to a Peaceful Relationship with ME, I shared how I create peaceful relationship with myself in my morning rituals. This time, I will share my evening rituals that nurture my inner peace and sustain me. In my Reiki Ryoho practice, I am invited to practice Reiki and prayers or meditation morning and night, along with the precepts. Some may wonder why this is necessary, but after years of practice, the depth and groundedness this practice brings has been transformational for me.

As part of this practice, I connect with Reiki through prayer and ask for the energies of the day that are complete and do not need to go with me into the next day to be released. I do a Reiki meditation or technique to clear my energy and let go of the thoughts that governed the day. Tomorrow will be a new day. It makes me feel clean and relaxed.

Whether I journal my gratitude or sit quietly and intentionally offer my gratitude through verbal prayers of thanksgiving, I am struck at the power of this practice to transform my day. Over the years, I have made it a commitment to start my journal time with gratitude. I do not waiver from that regardless how I may feel about my day. What I have learned is that when I focus on what I am truly grateful for, my mind shifts and my memory is that my day was really quite good after all.

When I work with clients or notice what they write in their gratitude part of their session journals, I can frequently tell whether their list of gratitude comes from their head or their heart. Listing what one is grateful for can become a mental exercise that loses its power and effectiveness to transform the heart and one’s life if it only is done as a ‘have to’, ‘should’ or a ‘trendy spiritual practice’ that doesn’t create any personal sense of peace or connection. Do not worry about how long or short it is. What I have come to realize for myself is whether I have honestly moved into the centre of my heart and felt the gratitude from the inside out.

I am amazed at what I am grateful for in each day when I give myself time andspace to be honestly grateful from my heart. I don’t just think about being grateful. I call into felt and full awareness that which I’m grateful for. Sometimes, what I find myself thankful for is a very difficult decision that has taken me outside my comfort zone and into a new experience. Sometimes, I’m grateful for what didn’t work out as much as I am for what did come into fruition.

This process of contemplating my day, clearing my fields and stretching out my body takes time. I myself need at least an hour to get ready to sleep. I have to unwind my body and my mind. I have to put my mind to bed and that means my mind must be willing to relax. What I do to support my mind to relax and be at peace makes all the difference to the quality of my sleep. If I haven’t given myself enough honest time to listen to the core of me, to the real concerns and needs of my heart and being during the day, it will speak to me in the middle of the night or as I seek to drift off, or perhaps even in my dream-time.

During the coming week, I invite you to consider your own evening ritual. How does your time with yourself in the evening create peace with yourself and others? What are the evening rituals that support the best sleep you can have so that you can show up to yourself, your life and your relationships the next day? How meaningful is your evening practice of gratitude to re-frame any day into a decent or even into a great day?

Take time to evaluate your evening rituals and honestly acknowledge what needs to change so you can create more peaceful relationships with yourself and others. Be truthful. The way you enter into your sleep matters. Find one practice, or habit that you are ready to change or tweak to improve the quality of your life, your joyfulness and of course, the peace in your relationships.

Namaste, Shirley Lynn

It doesn’t get better than this – a Sunday morning on a long weekend and the sun is bright, the clouds are drifting, the breeze is cool. The birds are singing their songs of celebration and good fortune, tulips are opening and the spring colours and smells are delighting the senses. Carlie and Rayna have had their walk, eaten breakfast and are joyously chewing bones out on the porch. I join them on the porch with my tea, taking in the sun and simply enjoying the simplicity and perfection of the moment.

I reflect on the importance of this moment of just hanging out with my dogs, with Nature and my cup of tea. I feel calm, relaxed and happy. I notice that Spring is in perfect relationship with itself. The flowers are in perfect relationship with each other. I am free to sit and be without worrying or focusing on what I ‘should’ be doing or will be doing the rest of the day. It’s a moment of being in right relationship with me. I bask in this moment and experience a wonderful sense of gratitude and inner harmony that I know will influence the rest of the day.

Today is a simple morning, not cluttered with extraneous mental thoughts or worries or tensions or activities about what needs to get done. It is a moment that arose out of being present in the moment and a softening to the fluidity of the moment’s dance. Being present to the moment opened the door for me to experience right relationship with myself, to create peaceful relationship with me!

You may already have your ways of practising peaceful relationship with yourself, but let me share some of the steps I took that created the environment and synergy of peaceful relationship with myself:

1. Meditation as my first way to greet and celebrate the day.
2. A moment of self healing to strengthen my intention and seek Divine sustenance for a resilient attitude for the day.
3. A prayer for all sentient beings that each may experience peace, health, happiness and abundance this day.
4. Because I like structure and focus, I make a reasonable and heart-centred list of what I want to accomplish each week. (And since I had this list planned going into the weekend, I could let go of any stress thoughts because I trust the flow and intention of the day).
5. With Carlie, I have learned to go for a walk as soon as I get up, even before we eat breakfast. I attend also to my body and the rhythms that need to be awakened for the day.
6. I allow space in my day for Spirit to ‘show up’ and ‘commune’ with me in whatever way is needed.

I know that as I practise these early morning habits of being in connection with Spirit, myself and Carlie, the rest of the day’s interactions are more harmonious and happy. I’m starting my day with the power of vital energy and the ease of Universal Harmony.

I recognize that not every day gets to have these moments of sitting and basking in the peaceful moment of a perfect spring day, late into the morning. However, I also know that when I lack the discipline to practise these spiritual habits in a morning, I have to work harder that day to sustain the ease of a resilient and positive attitude and harmonious connections. Why work that hard when all it takes is for me to get up in time to practise these habits and anchor peacefulness into my mind and heart?

Like they say, work smarter, not harder!

I’m a firm believer of writing down our insights, our thoughts and beliefs, our feelings and the general flow of what is happening in our internal life. It reveals so much of what is hidden to us … it reveals our soul and the blocks to our soul.

This year for me is about creating peaceful relationships and I have invited you on this journey through stories and insights about what can support our path to such relationships. I will speak more about right relationship with self and the evening practice, but for this week, I invite you to write out your habits that promote and sustain right and peaceful relationship with yourself.

We are shortly stepping into the last half of the year. If you want to actually start creating peaceful relationships rather than just wishing for them, commit to a habit and start practising. And if you need help getting started to promote your own inner peace, I encourage you to set up an appointment with me and let’s get you moving forward.

Here’s to the perfect modelling of right relationship with self … thank you SPRING!

Namaste,

Shirley Lynn Martin

Submitted by Lucy Martin

I’ve been thinking more about the power of No, in part because I just posted online Shirley Lynn’s interview with Rosie on CBC earlier this spring, which was about saying no. I encourage you to listen to it if you haven’t already.

In surfing the web a little, it appears this is an issue that people struggle with a lot – in the workplace, at home, with friends and in other relationships. So perhaps it’s not surprising to also experience this challenge with our animal companions, many of whom hold great significance in our lives and hearts. On the surface, you might be thinking that I am advocating for denying our animals of all the treats and treasures that we love to indulge them with. You can relax and read on because I too contribute my share to the billions of revenue generated by the pet industry.

So where or how then, do I think we need to exercise the power of no with our animals?

Firstly, no is about establishing boundaries or limits – what is desirable behaviour and what isn’t. While there are societal expectations about how animals are supposed to behave, at least in public areas, there is a great deal of variance in what individuals find acceptable (or at least tolerable) in private. For instance, I expect Rayna to lay down when people approach to greet us (a work in progress) in public spaces, but at home we are much less formal and primarily require four feet on the floor and no mouthing other people or Carlie.

It is tempting to believe that our animals understand ‘plain English’ and when we say no to something, they understand and will respond accordingly. If you are lucky, they might stop doing the behaviour but then what? Do they look at you and then return to the behaviour that you just interrupted, or perhaps choose an alternate behaviour that may be better or worse?

The flip side of no is yes. Yes is the desirable behaviour. How do we communicate our yeses? By sharing information in the form of training. Training doesn’t necessarily require a trainer and going to classes (although sometimes that can speed the process); training simply means teaching desired skills and behaviours in a way the animal understands, practising and refining those behaviours, and consistently enforcing and reinforcing them.

You might be thinking this is a lot of work and it’s true, communication is work. It’s hard enough with people who speak the same language and share a similar cultural understanding. Animals don’t share our language, mores or understanding of the world. Your goal is to instill behaviours and strategies that will help your animal know what to do when the environment changes – guests come for dinner, a neighbour stops to chat on the street, another cat walks across the lawn, etc. A quick word or cue can prompt the appropriate action without undue stress or anxiety for either of you. It can be very reassuring and a real confidence booster when you have prepared and practised what to do in unfamiliar situations – for both you and your animal.

So the power of no with our animal companions is about instilling a vocabulary and skill-set of what the right answers are – the yeses. The more information we can share about what is desirable within our relationship, the better things will be. Less stress and anxiety for both of us. Like all meaningful relationships, this requires clear communication, an understanding and commitment to what is desirable and right for both of us, as well as a gracious heart when one or both of us screws up.

To all the animals out there who share our lives and hearts, thank you for sticking with us. We promise to keep working at teaching you the yeses to make living in our human-centric world a little easier. And when we get it wrong, please be gracious with your no.

It has been said that our animals are our greatest teachers, and I think that’s true. Learning how to communicate our expectations and desires to another species is a worthy endeavour in its own right. But these lessons can also be extended into our human relationships where it is just as important to express our needs, desires and expectations.

If you are struggling with knowing and expressing what your nos and yeses are in your significant relationship, Shirley Lynn is here for you. Call or email today to set up an appointment and reclaim your power.

 

 

Spring is an incredible time of death and new life, of purification and resurrection. This past weekend, I buried a hawk that froze to death during the cold snap, my cat of 25 years that transitioned over Christmas, and I offered blessings to various other critters that froze or died in other ways from the long cold winter and now lay exposed after the spring thaw. Ironically, this time of burial comes close to the Easter story of death and resurrection which struck me in a new way this year.

Although I am not an active participant in any church at this time, I continue to reflect upon the perennial narratives and wisdom of various world religions to glean insight and wisdom for my own personal transformation and joyous living. With that in mind, I invite you to wonder with me where your own faith supports and awakens you to a more fulfilling and rich experience of Spirit and your human life and relationships.

The incredible gift in burying these creatures was feeling how incredibly true to their essence and purpose in life they remained. The joy I felt as I released the bodies into the ground, honouring their hearts, lives and spirits for the betterment of the entire planet is strangely beyond words. Carlie and Rayna respected the ceremony and made no attempts to disturb or disrupt the intention to return to Spirit those who had shared life with us. They ran and played around me and the bodies, but left them untouched.

Instead, Carlie and Rayna ran about smelling and sniffing the new life emerging from the ground after the long cold winter. Little shoots of daffodils and crocuses were coming up, seeking sun and life extending beyond the ground, their cave. In the Easter narrative, the stone is rolled away, offering us the opportunity to extend our life beyond the death, beyond the depression, the loss, the trauma of what we may have experienced. Though we may have experienced deep and profound pain in our life, we are never meant to stay in the death of it, to remain a victim of it. We are meant to rise again, to resurrect ourselves through the Divine extraordinary gift of love and service to us—to thrive.

As I was digging (and then broke the shovel and had to buy a new one!), having extended time to complete this ceremony, I was encouraged to reflect upon the incredible Divine Love offered to us in this natural cycle of life and transition. The joy I felt in this little ceremony with Nature and her inhabitants invited me to remember again that Divine Love only gives life, inviting us to thrive. Even when we experience darkness, death, the black hole or cave of our depression, trauma or shame, guilt consciousness that robs us of life, we are gifted with the wisdom to cultivate new life. We don’t need to look very far … typically just outside our windows or in the neighbourhood park. How profound is that love! A covenant love that always promises new life, more abundant love, a love that never ends!

So why is it that we are so frequently disconnected and what can we do? Recently I was aware of the negative impact of my doubt upon my life. My coach asked me what the opposite of doubt is for me and without hesitation, I offered, belief and faith. When I believe that I am loved in this extravagant, abundant life-giving way, doubt is contained. It doesn’t get fertilized. It was a reminder – rather than worry about my doubt at what isn’t working or didn’t happen or what isn’t coming into realization just yet, I’m invited to thrive anyway!

Here are a few ways I nurture my faith to thrive (to live in Love):

1. Upon waking and before going to sleep I give thanks for the day and ask my Higher Self/Christ Self (or whatever language that fits for you) to guide me and support me to do what I must do, to think what gives me life and positive perspective, and to speak what gives life to me and others on this day.
2. When I meditate, I practise surrender and letting go into Universal Love asking for healing and empowerment to live my purpose and grow in love.
3. I enjoy a morning walk with our dogs and stay open to the connection to Nature and commune with Her for inner sustenance and deeper awareness of the flow of life.
4. I spend some time reading what enhances my belief in what is good, what feeds my purpose and expands my inner perspective.
5. I follow my inner guidance for what gives me balance and inner peace in my life. I take time out and honour my needs as I do others.
6. Do activities and spend time on goals aligned with my vision for love, for peace, for happy community.

I know there are other ways I enhance my faith so that I can thrive (I am not a victim to my life), but these are core to me. I invite you to write out your own core ways that help you increase and nurture your faith. Make sure you do them when life is good, so they are a reflex when life presents its challenges.

As I placed the last shovel of dirt over the buried bodies, I experienced their spirit’s deep gratitude for honouring their lives and their purpose. They are happy and free and whole.  Namaste.

In Peace,  Shirley Lynn

AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SPRING GROWTH & RENEWAL …

• Do you find yourself putting others’ needs ahead of your own?
• Do you want to increase your confidence in handling the difficult situations and demands in your life?
• Are you living a smaller story of yourself than what you dream?

Then say YES to this transformative Two-Day Workshop!

CULTIVATING JOYFUL LIVING: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships

Friday & Saturday, May 23^rd-24^th, 2014

9:00 am – 5:00 pm

Location is just north of Waterloo, ON

Cost: $285 plus HST

Get Inspired! Check online for details about the workshop that past participants continue to rave about:

CULTIVATING JOYFUL LIVING: Balancing Self Care Within Relationships