Carlie and I have been preparing for our first correction/fun match in Rally Obedience. So this past Saturday I set up a Rally course so Carlie, Rayna and I could train together. The course had a good amount of challenge to it for the novice category. I set it up in a way that really tested our skills and teamwork.

 

We love to train together, but over the past few months I sensed we had lost our edge together for training. Not that either of us wanted to stop as we both love to learn and explore our potential together. But something was missing and I was trying to figure it out. I tried various strategies to improve drive and skill. Then one day, I heard her say, ‘listen to your heart, the answer is in your heart’.

I listened to my heart and I didn’t hear anything. I asked Goddess/Reiki/Great Universe to show me the way. I waited and then listened again for the past two months. Yesterday, the answer finally came. Simply, calmly, perfectly clear and elegant.

The course was set up and as Carlie and I went to the starting point, these words gently came forward from my heart: “Carlie, this is a very tricky course, so we are really going to have to think. You really need to pay attention and think about what we are doing. It’s a really tricky game this time.” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She sat beside me in perfect heel position, looked at the course and then at me, as if to say, “I’m with you and I’m ready!” We did okay, but because I could tell she was really with me, I was also able to clearly see what I could do differently to help her be even more successful.

After our first run, I gave Rayna a turn. I told her a similar message. She had watched Carlie and I had noticed how she was observing Carlie’s concentration (Carlie is often her model at learning new games). A great run! I switched them up and Carlie’s next run was much improved. Switched. Rayna’s run was awesome. Switched and Carlie went one more time. Awesome run!! We were all so excited. We finished our training session at this high point of success. Good training always leaves them feeling successful and eager to do more. It creates a strong work ethic and joy for the game and the partnership founded in love.

In the Mumford & Sons song ‘Awake my Soul’, they hauntingly sing “In these bodies we will live. In these bodies we will die. Where you invest your life, you invest your love.”

Carlie and I live in our bodies and we know we will die in these bodies. Right now, we have this life, not another one, but this one. If I spend my time wishing for something other or regret what I’ve failed to do in the past, I will miss the opportunity that is right in front of me to invest my life in my love for her as we are right here, right now! I was reminded again of how much she loves and enjoys the ‘game’, the ‘puzzling it out’, ‘thinking through the trick’. I had lost sight of the heart of who she is. The answer lay within my heart, waiting to emerge in the right moment when I was listening and would have the most impact.

David Augsberger states that for most people, being deeply listened to is equivalent to being deeply loved. If you are in conflict with someone, or there just seems to be something flat, like something went missing, like with Carlie and I, then stop and really listen to your heart. The answer is there. And whatever is in the way of the message coming forward, you must make the effort to release it, heal it, transform it, re-frame it. And you may also need to be patient. The answer may not emerge immediately. And if it hasn’t been revealed, it may be because the right moment to make the most impact hasn’t presented itself yet.

Often we are coached to take action and make it happen, to exercise our personal will to manifest what we want. However, in the real spiritual centre of Oneness and the spiritual freedom of the Great Universe, we align with the Love and Will that already exists in the Universal Mind/Goddess/Creator. And in this state of alignment and openness, we receive the wisdom and our greatest desires are manifested. It will come to us.

Make Love your life investment. It will require you to listen – to listen deeply, to listen in ways that may be new, to listen to answers that are clear and devoid of drama and ego, and to listen to what is authentic to you even though others may not ‘get it’.

Listening from the heart to invest in Love will bring you incredible answers in the right moment with perfect impact for transformative results. Practise listening as an expression of love this February.

Stop.

Create space to listen to your heart.

Really listen. Without judgement.

It will deepen your self respect. Your outcomes to choices will be more clear and simple. Your sense of what is good and true will be strengthened. The way you relate with your environment and relationships around you will become more peaceful. Your life and consciousness will evolve and mature. And when crises hit, you are better trained to stay calm and resilient.

Namaste,

Shirley Lynn

This past Saturday Carlie and I participated in a workshop in canine nosework/scenting. The day once again provided me with opportunities to reflect upon key dynamics, skills and behaviours needed to succeed in love and partnership, to succeed in relationship well-being.

Throughout the workshop we learned how to positively and respectfully reinforce our dogs to ‘find’ the scent of wintergreen and then reward them for making choices to find this ‘stinky scent’ (not a natural scent they might naturally gravitate toward!). But more importantly, we were asking them to choose to ‘play’ with us.

We started out by making the criteria very simple. Treats in one hand. Wintergreen in the other. Choosing to smell the wintergreen always resulted in a treat on top of the little bottle of wintergreen, communicating that ‘yes’ we want you to choose to scent this oil. Respectfully, we invited our dogs to play with us by using good enthusiasm, partnership, and clear communication. Each time Carlie chose to smell the wintergreen I cheered her on and gave her a treat on the container. I consistently affirmed and reinforced the behaviour we were seeking with each attempt she made.

Because we were in a workshop setting, each training session advanced the criteria, (so we could understand the process), but were clearly told not to go to the next level until the dog had shown good consistency, confidence and accuracy in the foundational skills. In the actual sport test, handlers are not given any information about which box holds the scent. Only the dogs are to track the scent. The foundation skills build that kind of clarity of expectation and partnership for the ultimate game. What we want in this game is their participation to scent out what we ask of them, but we need to trust that their nose is much more accurate than ours.

Each human-dog partnership had multiple opportunities to receive individual coaching to improve our movements (and intention behind our movements) to better communicate what we wished to communicate. Often it was such little movements like having the shoulder the wrong way, changing our walking pace, or looking at the dog rather than the target that only confused rather than helped the dog.

So throughout this next month, there will be much for me to pay attention to in my communication/training with Carlie as we share this journey of scenting together. Here is my list:

1. Speak simply and respectfully (cues need to be a word or two).
2. Be clear in the outcome. What is the end result and what does it look like?
3. Be clear in what I’m asking her to do in each training session (can I explain it to myself in 5-7 words or less). If I can’t make it simple, how can I expect to create little steps and help her to be successful?
4. Be consistent – with my encouragement, with my cues, with the progression towards advancing the skills, etc. – so it remains clear for Carlie.
5. Remember that we are both learning to work together, so practise the foundation steps well and build trust in our partnership in this new sport.

These might seem like simple and common sense behaviours and knowledge you regularly practise with those around you. And yet, how often do our intentions, our criteria, our outcomes, our posture and behaviours (ie. eye movements, shoulder position, head position, etc) actually all align?

Something we tend to overlook when we want to ‘talk’ with our partner about something new or to introduce a new topic, is the actual criteria we wish to cover. What is the specific ‘conversation’ or what is the objective and what do we really want our partner to understand? When we are unclear of our criteria and goals, we set ourselves up to be upset, misunderstood or frustrated because we lack the clarity in our criteria, in the outcome of what we seek. And then we wonder what happened when the conversation ‘failed to get anywhere positive.’

Ask yourself what vision and behaviours of love and connection you need to get clear about so those who matter to you understand what you are asking of them and what you wish to offer to them. Take the necessary time to build trust and establish a solid foundation. It may seem slower at the beginning, but front-end loading is always worth the effort when stress hits!

A really useful tool I have developed to help you clarify what you want to do differently this year and accomplish in peaceful relating is Wisdom’s Way to Relating Peacefully: Your 2015 Working Guide. You can find it on my website or at my office. Do what it takes this year to show yourself and others you love them. You will bring peace to us and our world.

For me, the nosework/scenting workshop was a beautiful opportunity to practise mindfulness of love in how I partner with Carlie in ‘new territory’, in an old conversation (one of trust and partnership) as it occurs in a new context, in a new form, for a different outcome/game. I invite you to practise mindfulness of love with someone near and dear to you as well.

Namaste,

Shirley Lynn

Out beyond ideas

of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down

in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language

– even the phrase “each other” –

do not make any sense.

– Rumi

Each year, I work through my Guidebook Wisdom’s Way to Peaceful Relationships as a way to explore what I learned from the year before – what worked, what didn’t, what I want to do differently in the coming year, where I want to grow in Love and so forth. It helps me to stay aligned with my core principle of creating peace, building peace, returning to peace. It also challenges me to grow and move beyond any internal states of stagnation in my relationships. I end up with me a plan I can ‘walk through’ in the coming year and thereby stay focused.

As a result of what I wanted to improve in my relationships last year, I began to reflect upon how much language makes a difference in the way I/we show up to relating peacefully. I was thinking about peaceful relationships and how we create them. And still, I felt there was something missing. I found myself being guided to tweak this theme to give it more life and make it more dynamic.

I was also invited to practise love and forgiveness with a friend who had behaved in a significantly hurtful way. Through this journey of practising loving-kindness, a Reiki ethic that is core to my spiritual practice, I realized that none of my relationships are static, none remain truly stagnant in Love. Loving-kindness and forgiveness asked me to remain deeply committed to myself and to the heart of who I know I am – because there were times I just wanted to throw in the towel.

So rather than focusing on the relationship, I became intrigued with what peaceful relationships look like in action, how images of such relationships change when we shift our focus to the activity of peaceful relating.

So I have changed my language to peaceful relating, with particular focus on the ongoing activity of relating peacefully. This new language began to re-shape my reality as I began to consider the creative emergence of what could unfold next as I made choices to relate peacefully now.

I am a being – a living, dynamic being in motion, in movement, in activity. My mind is always active, even while sleeping, I dream. Although I experience stillness in meditation or contemplative prayer, it is dynamic, alive and flowing. So too is my potential in relating with all things. If I want to be in the positive flow of life, then there is a call to relate in love and peace. It calls me to be attentive and present to what my experience is and what is alive in me as I interact and engage with life, with my dog Carlie, my family, clients, home, people in my community, and so forth.

Relating peacefully awoke an awareness within me of self doubts, griefs, old hurts that I wanted to release and open myself to more Love in my relationships. This awareness called me to be attentive, flexible and strong in my boundaries that respected my core being.

This coming year, as we start on this journey of relating peacefully, I invite you to observe and become aware of the manner in which you relate in peace with yourself. Where does it already happen? When can you relate in love with your body and the whole of who you are? What happens when you fall out of relating peacefully with yourself? Where are you stuck in a relationship which needs new language to help you make loving movement again?

Wisdom’s Way to Relating Peacefully – Your 2015 Guidebook will lead you through your own personal journey of discovering a new language, new metaphors, stronger strategies and a transformation of old practices. Allow yourself to let go of what doesn’t work anymore and meet me in a new field of consciousness in 2015 – relating peacefully. You can download your copy from my website today. Printed copies also are available at my office.

Namaste,
Shirley Lynn

Submitted by Mary Martin

There is something alluring for me about standing on the threshold of a New Year. It’s a time to reflect back on the past year with all its mistakes, successes, doubts, new awareness, etc. By the same token, I also am challenged with how to embark on this New Year without carrying forward last year’s unwanted marks. Sort of like trying to make a snow angel without marring it with a footprint!

In a recent discussion with friends about making New Year’s resolutions, I admitted that I had given up making resolutions years ago because I never disciplined myself to follow through. However, I did and still do feel that embarking on a New Year is a good time to take stock of where I have been and where I want to go.

Later that week, I heard someone on the radio suggest that if the New Year’s resolutions don’t stick maybe they weren’t the right ones to begin with. This caught my attention and prompted me to reflect back to when I had decided not to set myself up to fail with resolutions.

It all began years ago when I was facilitating a spiritual discovery group at work. It was our first group in a new year and we were looking at 4-R rather than making resolutions. The 4 R’s we used were Review, Regrets, Rewards and Reset as a guide to reflect on and evaluate the past year and to set goals for the New Year. Our discussion focused on what we could and need to do for a meaningful reset to happen because without plans, strategies etc., the reset would be ineffective.

My reset that day was to fear less and love more and this reset/resolution has stuck. This reaffirms for me that I have found the right one. However, this is more than a New Year’s resolution for me – it is also a lifestyle choice. So to stay focused and committed, I need to press the reset as I embark on a pristine New Year.

There have been times when I have needed to do a reset before the year was up and that was okay too. Just as that spiritual discovery group knew that in order to be successful there needed to be action, so too must I be conscious of how or when I allow fear to limit me in any way.

So with each reset I ask for help to first recognize and then act on the fears that would hinder my ability to be authentic in my approach to life and in all my relationships (including with myself). As I move forward into 2015, I remind myself again to fear less and love more!

Feel free to join me…

Wisdom’s Way to Peaceful Relating: Welcoming in the Opportunities of 2015

It’s 2015 and something NEW is in the air, not just on the calendar. For me, subtle shifts of clarity and alignment of mission have helped me to affirm that we are always in a state of relating. Whether we are relating with family, friends, or colleagues, or to our bodies, money, to our neighbours, community institutions, religion or even to our spiritual practices – we are relating with someone or something inter-connected with us. This is an on-going activity, an evolving engagement with every and any aspect of our life, including those we encounter and reside with on our life’s journey.

So what might Wisdom’s Way to Peaceful Relating have to do with your life?

Wisdom’s Way is about the path of what is most divine and natural and follows the Universal Harmony in all things. We must listen for this Wisdom which speaks to us from within our essence, the quiet place in our hearts, the love that is shared in relating to the GREAT LIFE which flows through us all and in Nature.

Peaceful Relating invites us to be mindful, aware, compassionate, ‘sacred-centred’ in how we show up to the way we live, the choices we make, our attitudes and the nature of our engagements with others.

Throughout this new year, we will continue to share stories, insights and ancient wisdom mixed with modern tales of knowledge and discovery as we explore, experience, test and integrate the light, love and strength of Wisdom’s Way to Peaceful Relating. Stay tuned, stay engaged and invite others to join us in this creative dialogue and opportunity for growth!

Namaste,

Shirley Lynn

And now, may this blessing by D. Simone provide you with renewal, health and enthusiasm for 2015!

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire 
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For, 
May your arms Never Tire.”